Frustration

Just need to rant.

I really hate ah tiongs.

Vandalism in Singapore has resulted in jail, caning and fines when it caused no harm to other people.

An ah tiong snatched and drove away a taxi, KNOCKED and  KILLED an elderly, yet just a few months of jail sentence. The jail term extended only when people protested. No caning and no fines for HARMFUL actions.

I SEE NO LOGIC. I am upset and affected by how well the ah tiongs are treated by our government.

Yes, their country is big.
Yes, their economy is thriving.
Yes, continue to suck up to them.

WTF.

Seriously, go on and see how arrogant they are in OUR country. Their personalities and attitudes have problems. Yes, one rotten apple doesn't mean all are rotten. Yes, there are good ones too.

But too bad, all that I have encountered, are the same.

Oh ok, I will need to accept their culture.... Because we are not open-minded enough. We need to have bigger hearts, because our ancestors also come from the same place. We must not forget our roots. WHATEVER LA.

Accept their culture in my own country, where my own culture is slowly fading.

Anyone wanna hug and cry together?

Before Starting Work

Last week of freedom!

Again, mixed feelings. Well... a small update. Completed my bachelor course and awaiting convocation in August. Found a new job, the start of my marketing career! Excited, definitely, quite excited.

Being an object of irony, I also felt sad. Haha. Starting to miss school life even before starting work. But I'm sure I also remembered how I wanted to get out of being a student so badly during the stress period in uni.

Now, starting to pay back my diploma loan to mum's CPF. They'd been spamming letters. That is so so discouraging. Money-faced society.

It is said that Singaporeans are shifting from the old 5Cs - 'Condominium', 'Cash', Country Club membership', 'Car' and 'Credit Card' to the new 5Cs - 'Control', 'Confidence', 'Community', 'Can' and 'Career'. Looks and sounds positive. However, the government definitely also needs to adopt this approach, not just the citizens. It will make a great difference.

Food for thought:
According to Maslow's Hierachy of Needs, the old 5Cs can be categorized under physiological, safety and esteem needs while the new 5Cs can be categorized under safety, belongingness, esteem and self-actualization needs. Does it mean that this shift in the 5Cs signifies how Singaporeans have largely satisfied their lower level needs?

I can't disagree with this, but we are all forced to shift. Society is the one forming us, how we are like. Say we kiasu, say we kiasi. But this is what is instilled in the older generation in the past, then passed down to us. Why are we stingy, throw face, why don't we donate? Because, haven't we all been scammed?

Afterall, I still think it's all about the money money money~

Whatever it is, a new life begins on March 2013! Wish me luck! :)

Oh and happy Chinese new year!

Reflections

When I wanna say "I try to be happy", it suddenly struck me that I once also said that sometimes the more you try hard to achieve something, it may be even harder to get.

So, for simple things, just let nature takes its course. You'll be happy if you feel happy. You don't need to try hard. :)

The main thing that actually got me to write a post is that, I was dumbfounded.

I was dumbfounded when asked "What do you want to be?", "What's your hobby?", etc.

I felt so lost.

Yes, lost even with my hobby. What I like, is just seeing people around me happy. Can this be a hobby? Can being accomodating be a hobby? I don't know!

Sometimes I do admire people who are upfront selfish. Or maybe they aren't, they are just paving their future/dreams/hobbies.

Whatever.

I just need to vent, for the emo phase is here again.

As said, I need confidence. I need courage.

I won't know what the future may bring, I also don't know what I should do. I shan't think too much.

Another start of a new week. Good week and good end for the year of 2012 everyone :)

Vulnerabilities

I don't like to feel vulnerable. It makes me feel like I've lost my self-worth. Then, I'll store everything in. So much for guarding the heart, but, it still hurts a little.

Idk.. And I don't wanna sound weak. But truth is, I really love you, miss you, want you.

Secret~
;)

Wondering for the Nth Time

Just wondering.. how long can things last, how to be a better person, how to communicate better... Sometimes I want a hole just to hide myself. I'm really weird.

I hope this is just an emo phase.
Or my brain's connections going haywire.

Please be fixed soon.

So many things I wanna say but I don't know how/what.

Love-hate

I hate how I can be so capricious at times. This led me to many thoughts inevitably.

Obviously horoscope doesn't define one; although it is true to quite a large extent for myself. Sometimes, I really dislike myself for being a Capricorn. It feels like a devil meets angel situation. I get held back by some strong forces within, uncontrollably, even when it might oppose what I want or how I feel.

We are not without positive traits though. These are what made me glad that I am a Capricorn, which really is quite confusing to the above mentioned.

Love-hate relationship with my horoscope I guess.

You Can Try This At Home

I just had to research on this and would like to share with anyone here. I thought this was pretty good.

Credits: Henrik Edberg "How to Quickly Change a Negative Mood into a Positive One"

Here are some ways to transform negative energy into positive ones!

1. Work Out - can stay positive, can lose weight. Kudos.
2. Listen to/watch inspirational material
3. Change your physiology - many other things are easier said than done. but, try forcing a smile for 60 seconds.
   
4. Appreciate away - instead of complaining about every single thing.
5. Act as you'd like to feel
6. Just do it anyway

I'll try to keep them in mind! I saw most that typically will work well as advises but no, they're difficult to put in place. Forcing a smile seems easier.

And I always like this lyrics:

"Smile, though your heart is aching.
 Smile, even though it's breaking.
 When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by."
- Smile, Michael Jackson

Thanks MJ!

Over-thinking

Someone once asked me how can I not think too much. This led me thinking. What did I do to not think too much? How to not think too much?

After thinking and more thinking, even coming across horoscope tweets saying, "The mind of a #Capricorn is always planning & thinking things thoroughly." and "Even when a #Capricorn is quiet our mind is always working full speed.", I wonder how I manage to "think less".

Practising "selective botherism" is one way. Meaning, you choose what you want to be bothered by. Having inner peace is another way, where you can just think but keep calm and compose yourself.

For example, thinking about every possible thing - positive or negative - then weigh them and think that things won't be that bad. Even if it is, you have thought of it before, meaning you'll be more prepared for any outcome and therefore the impact will be less.

What I realized, then, is that these are just brainwashing techniques ain't it? Either you're helping yourself by really screening out stupid things that are bothering you, or you avoid issues by brainwashing yourself that you may just be over-thinking. Something like that.

So, I actually don't know how to not think too much when it's always easier said than done. Perhaps just carry positive thoughts and things will be much better.


I'm a thinker, thinking about almost anything. From tiny things like should I walk fast or slow, brush my teeth longer or quicker, take a bite on my food now or later, post photo on instagram now or later, view twitter now or later, to more major issues starting with the what ifs.

I guess too much thinking has resulted in me being less decisive and depending on "fate" to decide. Like if I don't know where to go, I'll see which bus comes first then it will decide for me that kind of thing.


And it can be really annoying.

Life, Yet Again

I realized when I'm not feeling very up, I come to this space. Updates getting lesser, contents getting drier, bla bla. Still, it has helped me through emo phases. Then, I chanced upon a friend's blog where it coincidentally contained a post about her different purposes of social medias from which I shared the same sentiments (Click here to view post).

I guess this is a habit. I used to write in personal diaries, which became quite a chore since typing is much more convenient. Blogging became an enjoyable task regardless of whether anyone reads it. Sometimes I even feel that I'm talking to myself. But well, me-time :D I do feel guilty that after having a twitter account, I treat my blog so badly. Haha. Weird.

Mixed feelings strirring inside me again. All the alphabets are in front of me, yet it is tough to express myself. Suddenly it struck me - tough to express, don't wanna express or cannot express?

Life, yet again.

Updates

Okay this is a little delayed but, exams ended! This sem felt crazy, the whole thing from school term to study break and exams, and post-exam.

An emotional one.

School, people, personal. It's over for now, though, and currently in my last holiday as a student. Can what I planned be fulfilled? Will I be able to do what I want? What's gonna happen? My mind can't seem to stop thinking, much more than these. Sometimes I wonder if it's my problem, because I always have things churning in my mind but they can't seem to all be expressed.

Whatever it is, I need to pray hard that I can move on successfully toward the next and last sem.
So much mixed feelings and random thoughts. "Don't think too much" is such an understatement but still hoping it helps. Haha.


Heavy-minded; heavy-hearted.

5 Cs and 1 H

Just so random. A question with many branches.

"When you are old, what would you want most to happen?"

- What would you like to see yourself as?
- Who would you like to be surrounding you?
- Where would you want to be?

Why? Because it's your life.
How? You gotta start making things happen.

Don't Give Up?

Because people give up trying. They won't know the results in the end. Either it's a long way, or it might just be one step away.

But one gets tired too.

Random

Have you ever missed someone, something, or whatever, so bad that you feel like crying?

Why

Many many questions to life and all its aspects. I always question myself, then give convincing and comforting answers. Even not, it'll be some hard truths that need to be accepted without a choice.

Life.

有时候不明白，也不需要明白。
无所谓。
- 傻子

Baby

R.I.P Baby.

I freaking miss her. Everyday.

你相信缘份吗？

两个人的偶遇，是一件很奇妙的事。
珍惜。

太皮彩妮丝意思块特番。莱克哈夫迪普纳斯。

哈哈哈。

Laugh if you understood. Laugh, too, if you do not.

"Worrying is a waste of time."

Reflection

Feeling lousy all of a sudden.

Do people always try to be the best? In the surface or deep inside too?

Sometimes I'll just think, why am I the way I am?

-strong but weak
-weak but strong
-brave but timid
-timid but brave
-stupid but smart
-smart but stupid
-hardworking but lazy
-lazy but hardworking
-stubborn but giving
-expressive but inexpressive
-and whatever goes..

Need to achieve the Golden Mean.

Updates

Seems like my blogging vibe has faded away. But, just wanna have at least one post every month! Ah, so meaningless.

Anyway, life has been... Never better! (if you wanna be positive) I believe when one is positive, people around will be positive too. Theories of #ProfessorP shall be spread. Muahahaha.

Life in actual fact is not that fantastic but not too bad. Can't complain, can I? And I'm not gonna rant :) Just gonna cherish what I have, to be a better individual, improving myself, to share, to encourage, to be happy, to....... many more to come!

School wise, it's a little crazy how I felt like school just started and deadlines come piling up. Expectations, standards, quality... 要做就做到最好! And worrying brings you nowhere. Though it's inevitable sometimes, we still need to practise moderation. Everyday, learn.

Be happy, people! All my imaginary readers. *\(^o^)/*

米修米修。

School, AGAIN.

So we're all back to school again. First week just ended. Rusty brain is getting some oil and I hope things go well.

Confidence and effort are the key ingredients and I'm gonna keep myself motivated.

I can do it.

:) <3


Random: Mind is playing 林宥嘉's 心酸 and heart is feeling the sourness. Vice versa.

Goodbye 2011

In a blink of an eye, 2011 is left with a fewwwww hours. It's like a must/need to blog at the very last day. Heh heh.

Reflections:

2011 is a very weird year, a little tough to describe. I learnt a lot, played considerably more than previous years, even 'self-actualized'. Maybe as you grow older your thoughts and all just mature and become more refined.

I'm glad, close friends became even closer. The bond cannot be easily described. Graduation, Bangkok, clubbing (a bittttt), first time I puked drinking alcohol, working, efforts from DJG to meet up, to be there for each other, uni, stress, workload, meeting new friends and all and all and all. My memory ain't that good luh.

Overall a positive year I guess :)
Yet, regrets are inevitable. I'll continue to learn and improve myself and move forward.

Let's await 2012 with a positive heart, may the new year bring new hopes and be a prosperous one for everyone!

Remember, don't give up no matter what ;)

Unless it's really end of the world, then....... Yea. Though at low troughs I wish for end of the world, I still wanna be sitting on my sofa watching 2012 on 22 Dec or chill out with family and friends.

Don't end.

Cos it's gonna be a special year. 1st step into adulthood. Hmm.

:)